Thursday, January 24, 2013

Day 18 - Pity party.

Ok, so not to be a total downer, but I found myself a bit blue last night over my results so far. I was thinking about the fact that I gained 8 pounds over the holidays. Now that I've lost 9 (maybe more by now!), I just keep thinking if I hadn't eaten everything in sight from Thanksgiving to New Years, I could be almost a size smaller by now. I try not to dwell on things that I can't change. After all, the last thing I want to do is give myself worry lines! Still though, it's hard not to want to kick myself a little for that.

Now that I've put it out here into the blogasphere, I can come back and read it... to remind myself that backtracking isn't worth it. "A year from now, you'll wish you'd started today." Right? "Success is a staircase..."

I try to remember not to put so much pressure on myself. Sometimes knowing better is only half the battle though.  I had a session with a pretty fantastic "intuitive councilor" last month in the Portland area at a cute little whimsical book shop called Crystal Heart. He called me out on some things. Like when I whined about how disappointed I was in myself for derailing a bit, he wanted to know why it mattered. I told him that my band had a big audition and I wanted to look my best. He said, "Well, you're singing... not auditioning for America's Next Top model, right? What does a few pounds here or there have to do with music?" Touché. I heard him, but it's so easy to sink into the swamps of sadness for a moment now and then.

I guess I realized in that moment how important it was to ME. When I realized it didn't truly matter, that didn't make me feel any better. It did however change the way I felt about my wellness in general. It made me want to work on it for just myself. This challenge came along at perfect timing.

Last night I had Miracle Meat Pile again for din din. I had a big portion on my plate, but Xander kept me honest by eating a good 1/3 of it. The whole family loves meat pile.

This morning I had Muesli and spent 30 minutes with Sadie doing Standing Slim. Such a great workout! Sadie also reminded me that "it's only Barre3" and doesn't need to be taken so seriously. On that note, I'm moving on from the coulda-shoulda-woulda to the here and now. Today, I was able to do a really tough balance move with Sadie that I didn't even attempt 2 weeks ago. That win was just what I needed today. That and this big salad packed with delicious avocado. Mmmm

For dinner tonight I'm making chicken with broccoli and sweet potatoes. Yum!

I hope you're having an awesome day!



  1. I also gained weight over the holidays but I expected to. I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted to between Thanksgiving and New Years. And I think there are benefits to that. I avoided feeling guilty or bad when people kept giving me gifts of edible treats. And by the time we got to January I was seriously SO sick of heavy, cheesy, carb laden food and sweets. All I was craving was fruits and veggies.
    I prefer to look at the hard work and weight loss in January as my payment for that December eating. So don't be too hard on yourself. Getting rid of all of the holiday weight plus some, before getting to end of January, is a fantastic accomplishment.

    1. Thank you. You're totally right, Sarah. I also just gave myself a pass. It was nice... until it wasn't. lol! Seriously though, after gestational diabetes with the twins, and then hacking away at the first 65 lbs... I'd been on a diet for 2 years. I needed a frigging vacay! xoxo

  2. Ahh this reminds me of my own blog post I wrote in October about what "success" looks like. I looked at others- how fit they were, how healthy they ate and how EASY it seemed for them. But it's always harder than it looks and success is definitely not a straight upward climb! It's full of mini ups and downs. No need to feel blue because you are DEFINITELY well on your way :)

    )Here's the post in case you were interested:

    1. Katie, thanks for sharing that. I love it! You're so right. I'm learning all kinds of things about myself in this process. I love the "success is a staircase, not a doorway" quote, but I think it's more of an escalator when it comes to fitness, right? If you stop climbing... even slowly... you begin to descend. This is a challenge about building habits for life. I wish I could pop up as early as you do!!! Any tips? xo