Day 18 - Pity party.

Ok, so not to be a total downer, but I found myself a bit blue last night over my results so far. I was thinking about the fact that I gained 8 pounds over the holidays. Now that I've lost 9 (maybe more by now!), I just keep thinking if I hadn't eaten everything in sight from Thanksgiving to New Years, I could be almost a size smaller by now. I try not to dwell on things that I can't change. After all, the last thing I want to do is give myself worry lines! Still though, it's hard not to want to kick myself a little for that.

Now that I've put it out here into the blogasphere, I can come back and read it... to remind myself that backtracking isn't worth it. "A year from now, you'll wish you'd started today." Right? "Success is a staircase..."

I try to remember not to put so much pressure on myself. Sometimes knowing better is only half the battle though.  I had a session with a pretty fantastic "intuitive councilor" last month in the Portland area at a cute little whimsical book shop called Crystal Heart. He called me out on some things. Like when I whined about how disappointed I was in myself for derailing a bit, he wanted to know why it mattered. I told him that my band had a big audition and I wanted to look my best. He said, "Well, you're singing... not auditioning for America's Next Top model, right? What does a few pounds here or there have to do with music?" Touché. I heard him, but it's so easy to sink into the swamps of sadness for a moment now and then.

I guess I realized in that moment how important it was to ME. When I realized it didn't truly matter, that didn't make me feel any better. It did however change the way I felt about my wellness in general. It made me want to work on it for just myself. This challenge came along at perfect timing.

Last night I had Miracle Meat Pile again for din din. I had a big portion on my plate, but Xander kept me honest by eating a good 1/3 of it. The whole family loves meat pile.

This morning I had Muesli and spent 30 minutes with Sadie doing Standing Slim. Such a great workout! Sadie also reminded me that "it's only Barre3" and doesn't need to be taken so seriously. On that note, I'm moving on from the coulda-shoulda-woulda to the here and now. Today, I was able to do a really tough balance move with Sadie that I didn't even attempt 2 weeks ago. That win was just what I needed today. That and this big salad packed with delicious avocado. Mmmm

For dinner tonight I'm making chicken with broccoli and sweet potatoes. Yum!

I hope you're having an awesome day!

xo
Jenn